RSVP or Regrets Only? That is the question.

rsvp or no regrets

RSVP or Regrets Only?  That is the question.

Somehow in our always-busy-world, we’ve decided that requesting an RSVP is too much to ask of our guests. So we’ve given people an out.

Enter the “Regrets Only”.

Asking invitees to contact you only when they can’t attend a party saves those who will attend from having to do anything.  However, it also puts pressure on those who won’t attend to offer a reason why.

We’re not actually doing anyone any favors by requesting ‘regrets only’. In fact, there’s a level of shaming at play in requesting ‘regrets only’.  Even with a legitimate reason, people will often feel bad and occasionally awkward about responding with a ‘no’.

Okay, but who actually makes time to RSVP anymore?

The answer is: … almost everyone!

We have to stop behaving as though requesting something as simple as a reply is putting someone out.

Most people are happy to reply as a common courtesy. Taking a moment to reply to your host requires only a minute of our time. Not only is this the proper thing to do, but both guests and hosts alike will benefit.

As a guest, RSVPing goes hand-and-hand with taking a glance at your calendar.  Life is busy.  Taking a glance at my calendar helps me to keep things in check, which leads to better time management and a healthier, happier household.

As a host, well – this is where it gets real real.  You’ll gather information which goes a long way in planning your party or event.

When you’re asking for an RSVP, what you’re really asking is:

  • How many people are coming to the party?
  • How much food will I need?
  • How much alcohol do we need? (super-duper important!)
  • How many party favors should be assembled?
  • How large of a cake should I order?
  • Who should sit next to Aunt Martha?

Finding out how many guests will be in attendance is the main reason we ask for a response. Not knowing how many to plan for, we’re likely stuck buying food and beverages for all 50 people you’ve invited, even if only 20 show up.

When we’re talking about perishable food and festive party favors, ka-ching!

When we’re talking wine? Well, I wouldn’t consider that a ‘problem’ at all!  😜🍷

Do yourself a favor the next time you plan a party or event. Ask for a response in the form of an ‘RSVP’. Skip the ‘regrets only’ and go for the gusto. You’ll be glad you did.

Do your invitees a favor too. Make it easy to RSVP.  For more informal parties (um…totally not for weddings!), allow guests to RSVP via text or email.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Even if numbers are skewed a bit, as they typically are, you’ll have a much closer count and be able to plan accordingly.

If all else fails and you still end up with extra wine, you know where to send it!

Feel free to leave your RSVP questions in the comment section below.  I’d love to keep the discussion going.

Party on,



Coordinating Rustic Barn Style RSVP inserts are available in the shop:

rustic barn style rsvp inserts


2 thoughts on “RSVP or Regrets Only? That is the question.

  1. Mae says:

    Thanks Carolina! I feel the same way. I want to hear from you either way, especially when it comes to party planning! 🎈

Comments are closed.